We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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