I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
