I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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