There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I want to be your penis for a week.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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