I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is the high leading the old right now
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize