good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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