Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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