I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize