Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize