Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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