so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
