i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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