shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
