I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
