Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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