Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
