69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
