i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
