a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
