i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
