How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
