i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
