and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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