He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
