my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
