it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
