the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
