i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
