i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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