is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Never underestimate the power of titties
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Come on in and take your pants off
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