...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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