i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
