i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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