dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
