we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize