i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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