physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Randomize