Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
