I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
