if you like me you must not know who I am
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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