so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize