Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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