Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
