this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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