you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
they're like a gay fantastic four
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
