I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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