Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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