please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
