Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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