Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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