Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
