me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize