Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
