i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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