I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
