We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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