I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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