I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
