She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just forgot I was standing up.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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