I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
