he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
