just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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