there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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