You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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