Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
