We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
