she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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