He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
