I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
