Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
